I can’t believe I’m still jetlagged… I can’t stop sleeping… until about 5 in the morning, and then I’m good to go, only until about 12 pm.  We got in about 2am Monday morning, was home in Galloway only for a day. It was good to be with my family and friends again (and my dog!) I had a great time in the Philippines… spent a lot of time with new friends who I now consider family, experienced a new world, felt more comfortable with a new language… I enjoyed myself a great deal… but it’s a different type of happiness here. I find myself smiling to myself here in a way that I don’t on vacation. I think it’s because when I’m away, I simply enjoy myself; when I’m home, I feel a happiness that reaches the core.  I’m excited for the new life I’m about to start here in New Brunswick. It’s our first summer away from home, I have a bunch of new roommates and a new position at the Press. Things feel different here, but not so different that it feels foreign. Amy described PJ today as my rock, the one person that makes anywhere feel like home and that’s absolutely true. Abroad, whenever I felt overwhelmed or homesick, I just had to spend a moment in the little bubble we make to forget the world outside and I kept my sanity. I’m glad now that I never ventured to study abroad. Experiencing new things is cool, but I like to keep it as an experience, not a relocation of home, which you begin to feel after a few weeks.  That said, I’m absolutely glad I went, I learned a lot, even learned some things about myself…. I already miss everyone there. Everyone was so sweet and fun to be around. Oh, and I miss the food… and even the sticky heat… this cold rainy nonsense is bringing me down.  I know that the grass always seems greener on the other side. But nostalgia sets in fast. For now, at least, I’m glad to be home. I’m pretty vacationed-out. Still, this summer includes a few weekend trips to NYC, Boston, D.C., New Hope, P.A./Delaware River, and finally, at the end of August, down to Mississippi and New Orleans to visit my sister! That one I’m most excited about. I miss her…. Get a break for September and October, until I splurge on a 4 day vacation with my girls in November ;-). December/January hits and I have a month off. If she doesn’t come up, it’s probably back down to Mississippi for me. January-April will be just me stressing to finish my senior thesis and graduate as best I can… and then that’s it. It’s over folks. About 18 years in the education system (if you include preschool haha). And then it’s just over. A part of me is in denial and keeps suggesting that I’ll go back to school soon, get my Masters like everyone wants me to, become a professor, or librarian, or writer, or whatever it is that my favorite professors hope for when they urge me towards grad school. There’s a bit of an academic in me, I know there is. Maybe I will end up trying for Teach for America… to test-drive (sail?) those waters of educating. I seem to realize more and more that if I’m bound to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, like the rest of America (and I still don’t really believe that I am bound) I don’t think I can do it behind a desk. Publishing was my out… run around with deadlines and project organization, transport to different worlds in the books I work on (behind a desk) seemed to be my compromise, but publishing involves a lot of desk work too. I feel so uncreative that I can’t figure out a reasonable alternative. My coworker asked me today what I plan on doing after college, and for the first time in a while, I really had no answer. 

I can’t believe I’m still jetlagged… I can’t stop sleeping… until about 5 in the morning, and then I’m good to go, only until about 12 pm. 

We got in about 2am Monday morning, was home in Galloway only for a day. It was good to be with my family and friends again (and my dog!) I had a great time in the Philippines… spent a lot of time with new friends who I now consider family, experienced a new world, felt more comfortable with a new language… I enjoyed myself a great deal… but it’s a different type of happiness here. I find myself smiling to myself here in a way that I don’t on vacation. I think it’s because when I’m away, I simply enjoy myself; when I’m home, I feel a happiness that reaches the core. 

I’m excited for the new life I’m about to start here in New Brunswick. It’s our first summer away from home, I have a bunch of new roommates and a new position at the Press. Things feel different here, but not so different that it feels foreign. Amy described PJ today as my rock, the one person that makes anywhere feel like home and that’s absolutely true. Abroad, whenever I felt overwhelmed or homesick, I just had to spend a moment in the little bubble we make to forget the world outside and I kept my sanity. I’m glad now that I never ventured to study abroad. Experiencing new things is cool, but I like to keep it as an experience, not a relocation of home, which you begin to feel after a few weeks. 

That said, I’m absolutely glad I went, I learned a lot, even learned some things about myself…. I already miss everyone there. Everyone was so sweet and fun to be around. Oh, and I miss the food… and even the sticky heat… this cold rainy nonsense is bringing me down. 

I know that the grass always seems greener on the other side. But nostalgia sets in fast. For now, at least, I’m glad to be home. I’m pretty vacationed-out. Still, this summer includes a few weekend trips to NYC, Boston, D.C., New Hope, P.A./Delaware River, and finally, at the end of August, down to Mississippi and New Orleans to visit my sister! That one I’m most excited about. I miss her…. Get a break for September and October, until I splurge on a 4 day vacation with my girls in November ;-). December/January hits and I have a month off. If she doesn’t come up, it’s probably back down to Mississippi for me. January-April will be just me stressing to finish my senior thesis and graduate as best I can… and then that’s it. It’s over folks. About 18 years in the education system (if you include preschool haha). And then it’s just over. A part of me is in denial and keeps suggesting that I’ll go back to school soon, get my Masters like everyone wants me to, become a professor, or librarian, or writer, or whatever it is that my favorite professors hope for when they urge me towards grad school. There’s a bit of an academic in me, I know there is. Maybe I will end up trying for Teach for America… to test-drive (sail?) those waters of educating. I seem to realize more and more that if I’m bound to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, like the rest of America (and I still don’t really believe that I am bound) I don’t think I can do it behind a desk. Publishing was my out… run around with deadlines and project organization, transport to different worlds in the books I work on (behind a desk) seemed to be my compromise, but publishing involves a lot of desk work too. I feel so uncreative that I can’t figure out a reasonable alternative. My coworker asked me today what I plan on doing after college, and for the first time in a while, I really had no answer.