Yesterday while falling into our food comas at Skylark (by far the best diner I’ve ever been to haha), me, max, and pj decided we were going to measure our summer in experience points (and, apparently, awesome points). The Philippines should have been a million experience points. So much was new to me, so much a valued experience. Finding the nearby dog park we now frequent and falling in love with Highland Park could be a +1. Finding the gem of Skylark a +1, eating the chocolates gets its own +1. Working at RUP need a +1 for every bump in the road I come across. It has definitely been a new experience. I’ve been “the intern” for way too long that having so much responsibility and stress and doing real work there on my own needs an adjustment of mindset. I don’t have the confidence yet to make some of these decisions and stick by them, and I feel way too young for this. Nevertheless, I know I can do it, the challenge is good for me.
I’ve learned from this experience that I don’t want to enter the corporate world, even if it is in book publishing. I think if I, as an assistant editor somewhere was offered a chance at being a head managing editor at Random House, I would have to turn it down. It all sounds good on paper; in fact, sounds good coming out of the mouth, but there’s no heart behind it. I think in 5 years, I’d rather be a barely making the bills but creative with my money, occasional writer/editor, volunteering as a music therapist, occasional interior designer and wedding planner, selling pottery out my RV or running a doggie daycare out of my garage. Saving up to purchase a tiny bookstore/cafe that will make little-to-no-money but would keep me smiling all day.
I hear the mantra “do your best” haunting this ideal scenario. I know I have the potential to do many a great thing… to reach the top of a career path, to help people… to make everyone proud. I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting my potential with these small pursuits of happiness, but I don’t want to feel like I’m passing on pure joy for a more conventional definition of “success”.
21-year-old female. Searching for a way to pay all my bills and still have money for new experiences, express my creativity with my work, avoid the 9-5, have a flexible work schedule, do something meaningful for someone other than corporate, not measure results by profit margins.
